Update, update!

I know everyone is just chomping at the bit for an update, right? No? Well, tough, you're going to get one anyway! ;)

Got an ad in the Shopper this week and will have another in next weeks. Looks pretty good if I do say so myself! ;) Hopefully it will bring in some phone calls! I have to put a proposal together for two other jobs! YEAH! And I have to also put some cards together and get some new pictures up on the website. I have a bunch to go through and edit. I've been getting some help with the editing steps from my friend in England, he's a good kid. He's banner is over there on the right, go visit him and give him something to do! ;)

Melissa is going in for an evaluation tomorrow, she's been super moody, being 13 and all and there is additional stress at school and she also is entered in a State Solo Music Festival so very NERVOUS about that! So we go to talk to someone tomorrow. I remember being that age, it's nice having someone you can trust and talk to without fear of repisal. Everyone needs someone like that, heck, I still need someone like that, LOL!

Ellie had her first soccer game today and while they did not win it was not for lack of trying. Those kids played their hearts out and did very well for their first game. She was so tired that she fell asleep at 7:30 PM tonight, LOL. Poor kid. But she had fun!

I think I can safely say that James is fully potty trained now. We have only had one accident in the past week and he is trying so hard. He is also making sure I get up and play at least a couple of times a day, the little stinker, LOL :)

Other than that, all is well in the Zoo! ;)

Deannda
Love to all

Here's a closer look at those cute eyes! :) 

This little guy was found in our backyard when we were cleaning up. Melissa found him and I got a few shots of him. He's a cutie! :) 

Day by Day

Today was a good day. James helped me through a lot of the depression I was dealing with by making me get up and play. He's quite insistant about it too, grabs my arm or hand and tells me, "YOU NEED TO PLAY!" And he's right! ;)

Went to the doctor today for my yearly physical and such , you know, all that wonderful womanly stuff you have to have done! JOY! NOT! :) But we talked about my weight, I need to lose some, my general health, it's fine, my blood work, my cholesteral is up but not so much he's ready to put me on drugs for it. Wants me to try to get it under control with diet and excerise first. But otherwise everything is just fine.

Went to court this evening for the "messy" yard and pleaded guilty with extenuating (sp?) circumstances and after talking to the judge he gave me another court date in 2 weeks and said he would have the inspector come check the yard again. So tomorrow Terry and I will work double time to get it all in order and set so we can get this over with.

That's all for today, have a great one everyone!

Deannda

Well, what a week!

And it ended better than it started, that's for sure!

*WHEW*

I got myself up and out of the house as much as possible because I know part of the problem is when I lock myself away from the rest of the world. Even James knew something was up and kept coming to get me and grabbing my hand and telling me, "You NEED to play with me!" He was right, that was exactly what I needed, some fun time, play time and just relax time. The girls were home all week on spring break so we got out almost every day. Went to the parks and such, anything to get out of the house. James was in heaven with all the playground time, LOL!

I am feeling better, still have my moments, mostly moments of self doubt which are natural with depression but I'm actively working through them, getting up, processing pictures, working on the EBay store, doing research, whatever I can to keep myself busy.

Tomorrow I get to call the mortgage company and beg forgiveness, we are a bit behind, 2 month but this too shall work out. They have offered a couple of solutions, one of them is sell the damn place but Terry would never go for it and where else am I going to find someplace that will let me take all these dogs? The cats I can find homes for but Vinnie and Haley? I've tried with no success and I couldn't take them back to shelters to be in kennels all day, it would break my heart as well as theirs. So we stay, will look at other options available. Also going to get to the Shopper tomorrow and get those ads going, I got a free one through the Heights Merchant's association and I have a credit to use up and with Mother's Day coming up.............

Terry is doing well, working hard, got a lot done on his days off this week. Part of the porch was literally rotting out under our feet and he got after it and fixed it! I was so impressed and it worked out really well because I stayed away, LOL! Terry and I do not work well together on home projects, put us in a store and we are close to unbeatable but put us on a remodeling project together and start looking up divorce lawyer numbers. So I just let him do his thing and when he needs help he calls Melissa, she's big enough now she can do more than I can most of the time in terms of helping. Dang girl is 5'11" tall! And lots of muscle in there!

She's worried about going back to school tomorrow because of the whole thing that happened right before spring break but I told her to just keep her mouth shut, don't comment to anyone, take a book to lunch and if anyone asks her about any of it to say, "I made a mistake, I already apologized to (girl's name here) and it's over, thanks for asking." and if they kept after her to get a teacher. I told her this girl is the type that will keep going and if you just keep your mouth shut and give her the rope she will hang herself in no time flat. I wish I could protect her more but I know this is one of the times I have done everything I can, it's time she dealt with it from here and for me to just be at home when she gets here in case she needs me. It's hard, really hard. But I feel confident that she will be able to handle it.

Ellie is back into soccer. During one of our visits to a playground I noticed she was running like mad and not limping. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmm, interesting! So the next day I asked her if she was sore and hurting. She told me just a little bit but not much, why? I told her that since she seemed to be feeling better that I didn't see any reason she couldn't go to soccer practice and try it out and see how she feels. You would have thought I gave the kid a lifetime pass to a fruit stand (she loves fruits), she was thrilled. So I called her coach and told her we would be there. Turns out she has a very good friend on the team, knows 3 other girls besides that and is having a great time. She puts some icy/hot on her leg when she's done and it seems to be holding up very well. So she is a happy camper once more! ;)

James is finally, almost, completely potty trained! YEAH! Very few accidents these days, just one or two when he gets so involved in what he's doing he forgets until it's too late and doesn't make it to the bathroom. Melissa was the same way. But he is really trying. And he's pretty much dressing himself these days, puts his pants on backwards almost every time but rarely puts his underwear on backwards (if he remembers it at all) because Terry has taught him that cool little trick about pulling out your penis without dropping your underwear. He thinks it's the neatest trick in the world! But he makes me laugh and I have needed that so much.

Speaking of laughing, Melissa, Ellie and I have been playing some games on the computer the last couple of nights and just having a great time! I was laughing so hard the other night I was in tears and the girls really had a lot of fun too. So the past few days have been a healing and bonding time for all of us.

Now to just get the photography or EBay or something going! :)

Love to all!

Deannda and the Zoo

I feel so tired

These mood swings are just killing me, I hate this, one moment higher than a kite the next ready to break down into tears. One moment everything bounces off, the next it's all stabbing like a knife. You know you would think that I know better than to post on boards when I'm feeling like this, but NOooooooooooooo, I gotta just keep posting crap and opening myself up even more. Maybe some day I'll learn, but don't count on it.

Deannda
I see the doctor tomorrow, hopefully he will have some better drugs

Stress Headache

When I was in an accident when I was 14 I had a major head trauma at the time. My family knows all about it and I used to get these horrible headaches. Worse than a migraine, they would literally make my head feel like it was being split open. They eventually started becoming fewer and farther apart to where I rarely get them anymore. Except when I get really stressed out and things just start piling up. I try not to let those things happen because I found out that by releasing my emotions instead of letting them build up I don't get headaches or feel sick most of the time.

But I seem to have lost my one big release for tension and it's been building up again. That's why I started this blog to let out my feelings most of the time, like I used to do on another site but I seem to get more flack lately for having emotions and airing them which only makes the situation worse. So I ended up losing my place to talk about me, my family, my pets and get some positive feedback or support in the process. I've gotten to where I found it wasn't worth putting it out there just to get blindsided by a few people who felt that because they "Cared enough" to say so they had a right to nail me to the wall for what ever reason. If this seems like rambling, well it is, just that, rambling, I need to find a job, I need to bring in an income, I need to make it fit in with Terry's schedule which we never are really sure what might be, I need to make enough money to pay the babysitter or work graveyards and still have enough left over to help pay the bills, I need to get my brain back in gear and get a plan together. I need to find help to put a marketing plan together for my business, I need to get my head out of my ass and get it back in the game where it belongs, but most of all, I need a friend, someone who I can pour my heart out to and just have them listen and not feel like I'm taking advantage of them. Oh well, such is life, heh?

Coming MOM! 

My King of the Mansion! 

Juniper and Lolli looking Majestic 

Why, Hello Stranger!

Hey there, hi there, ho there!

Been a bit since I've posted here and caught everyone up but here goes!

We're ALIVE!! LOL, yep, all still living, kicking and bothering the heck out of each other. Life has been busy, interesting and bothersome all at the same time.

And to top it all off I received a summons to appear in court in two weeks for the yard. Which has been cleaned up but according to the "inspector" it wasn't done in time. The same "inspector" who is also in charge of building inspections is standing on my porch, which is literally falling apart at the seams is standing there telling Terry the yard didn't get done in time. But won't say what still needs to be done. The guys a, I won't say it, I'll be nice.

And speaking of being nice, Melissa has been trying to break off a friendship with this girl and it would be fine if the other girl's mother would stay out of it. But Noooooooo, she has to call me, after the girl calls me to tell me what a liar her mother is. The whole thing has been a living nightmare and ended up with me going to the school asking that they keep Melissa and this girl apart, change Melissa's schedule and hopefully that would be the end of it. But no, Melissa's best friend is here visiting from NC and of course she was friends with this other girl as well but didn't want to see her after hearing about what she and the mother did (they actually called her trying to get her to change her plans). We refrained from taking the girl to school to see everyone because that would have been just mean to the other girl. But people wanted to see her so I told Melissa to tell people to call the house and we might plan something on Saturday. So what did Melissa do? She writes a note saying was was planned and then adds not to give it to the girl we're trying to avoid or any of her friends. She gives the note to someone who she "THINKS" doesn't like this other girl. Guess what?

Yep, that girl RAN the note to Melissa's homeroom teacher who gave it to me afterschool when I picked her up. The girl also IM'd the girl and told her all kinds of garbage how Melissa said all these things to her and other crap. I grilled Melissa like you wouldn't believe and of course when I got home the mother is once again on my answering machine. What a nightmare. I was so throughly ticked by the time I got off the phone. It was unreal. I then took Melissa to the girl's home to apologize in front of the mother and to end this once and for all. But do you think we could get away with a simple apology and end it? Oh nooooooooooooooooooooo!

When we finally did get out of there and back into the van where Ellie, James and the friend from NC was waiting I was laughing. The woman and girl showed their true colors once and for all and I told Melissa she was becoming a politician at school. Anyone mentions this girl's name to her she is to say, "No comment." "I have nothing to say." No matter how tempting, how hard, that is what she is to say and do and if they won't leave her alone then to get a teacher or go to the office and I'd back her up 100%. BUT if she starts anything again, like the note or starts talking to or about the girl she was on her own. Just keep her mouth shut, give this girl all the rope she wants and before you know it she'll hang herself. Just sit back and watch.

James is being a total stinker these days. His newest obession is flashing and mooning people. He thinks it's hilarious but of course after a while it's not, so we have been working on that. And also he's been picking up on Tommy Pickles from the Rugrats and stuffing stuff in his pants. He especially loves putting things in the back, come running up to you and say, "LOOK! POOPIES!" *sigh* So much fun!

Ellie pulled a groin muscle in her right leg and as a result cannot play soccer this spring. She was so sad and upset, been looking forward to it for some time and pulled the muscle a week before practice was supposed to start. I have to call the council and see if we can get her money and registration moved to the fall league. I certainly hope so, we really scraped together to get her signed up this year and to lose that money would just plain suck.

Speaking of just plain sucking, money is tight, very tight. I'm really pushing my prints and ebay store (links over on the right there, hint, hint, hint) and once school lets out I'll be looking for a job if that stuff doesn't pick up. I have some ads coming up for Mother's day for the photography, let's hope people are watching. It's always fun robbing Peter to pay Paul, LOL. Luckily both Peter and Paul have been very understanding so far. ;)

So there is the update, oh, one last thing, have been doing a 30 day project of a self-portrait each day. I've been letting the girls set me up the past couple of days. LIke my mother I'm not much one for being in front of the camera, especially as my left eye gets lazier and lazier but I have to get past that. I need to leave memories for my kids and start accepting who I am and what I look like, like it or not, LOL :)

Again, if you want to see it, there's a link there on the right! ;)

Love to all

Deannda

Well, guess what?

I started a different little blog just for the 30 day project because I post outtakes from challenges here AND there are links to current entries that I have for sale on other sites so if you feel the need to check out my mug for the next 30 days or so here is the link: 30 PAD Project

I am also taking pictures of Terry every day simply so I won't be doing this alone. :)

Deannda
Need ideas of different ways to shoot myself, LOL :)

The things I get talked into

Okay on DPC I was conned into doing a 30 day picture a day of guess who. Yep, myself. So for the next month or so you all are going to be bombarded with pictures of yours truly. Now, no taking them, printing them and using them to scare the mouse, decorate the dart board or anything of that sort. Should be interesting! :)

Deannda

This was the other one that was in the running but went a completely different route 

Okay, I went back and forth and back and forth and finally made a decision on the shots, the poll I put out to friends and family only ended up in a tie so I'm posting these so now they can't be entered in the Toy Challenge on DPC, THERE! I MADE A DECISION! :) 

At last, I get my humom and the bed to myself, those yipping little monsters are gone, one of the hukids took them outside.

TIME TO ATTACK!!

What? She's getting up? NO FAIR! Great, she's getting dressed and everything. Well, I can help with that too, I can hold on to her bra and play tug-a-war with me. HA! That got her attention!

I went racing back to the bed and attacked the sheets, my signal to her that I'm ready for some PLAYTIME!

She follows me in and now I know I have her hooked. I will make her pay for the lack of attention over the past few days. She turns Righty Ruby loose under the covers and I ATTACK! Oh no! She's attacking back, time to retreat! Oh, wait, she's moving again, ATTACK!! ATTACK!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! She's attacking back, RETREAT!! RETREAT!!!! Darn that Righty Ruby attacking back like that, she's supposed to just sit still and let me kill her! One more time, ATTACK!! ATTACK!!!

AHA! I finally have her in a death grip and am attacking viciously with my back feet and trying to get to her through the protective covers she had on her hand. I can win, victory is almost mine!

Wait, what's this? Oh no, she's bringing in Lefty Lynn to help with the battle. Lefty Lynn is scratching behind my ears, I'll grunt at her to let her know that's not going to work. I will never surrender. I will kill Righty Ruby.

Oh no, now Lefty Lynn is working her way down my neck and under my chin, another growling grunt..........no, no, no body, not a purring grunt, a growling grunt, OH NO!!! My body is betraying me, it's giving in to Lefty Lynn, I will neve...................purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Tweety