Hello, remember me?

I'm back! Well, sorta, LOL!

I have been very busy so this will be a super quickie update.

I had my first official PAID Photography shoot today at a family reunion, took over 600 pictures and they came out pretty darn well, I am please with the original files, they should look fantastic for the edited versions!

Vinnie and Haley have found new homes. Well A NEW HOME. I managed to find them a place where they can stay together on 5 acres of land, 2 dog runs and an outdoor kennel. I told them all the wonderful/zany/infuriating things they do and they still wanted them. The son fell in love with Haley as soon as he saw her. I'm so happy for both of them.

Melissa went to North Carolina last month and will be home this Saturday. I missed her but I didn't miss her. Turns out that's okay. We enjoyed the quiet and we all got a much needed break from each other. She got spoiled rotten down there. New clothes, new bathing suit, new CELL PHONE! A pay as you go phone of course and it will be her responsibility to buy the minutes for it not mine.

Well, there you have the quick and dirty update!

Love to all!

Deannda

Hello there!

Long time, no update! Well, no excuse really, just lazy. :)

Got out of the house this weekend, by myself. Ellie spent the weekend at a friend's house and Melissa is okay with just James (Ellie is the one who bugs her and sets her off) so I spent a few hours yesterday and today at the fairgrounds taking pictures. Been a while but it was very nice! Had a good time, walked around, rested when I needed to and found out I can still function as a photographer at least, thank goodness. So this is something I can do and will have really start pushing after I see the doctor tomorrow and talk about getting me on some meds to help with these mood swings which are probably a result of Bipolar. At least it has a name now and I have been taking steps to make sure I keep myself away from situations that could trigger bad behavior, i.e. spending money we don't have, losing my temper, stuff like that. It's been a good weekend.

Here's a link to the pictures that I took this weekend. These were edited very quickly so some of the color is a bit over saturated right now, I'll work on them this week as time allows. As it turns out it's going to be a very busy week, appointments all week long for me and the kids! FUN! :)

Pictures from the Horse Show

Love to all!

Deannda

Isn't April the sweetest? 

April being very cute :) 

This is April, she was very tired :) 

Hello.... My Name is Sammy

Or Super Hero Sammy as my new huperson calls me. I am the final gift to James for his 4th birthday. Here is my story:

Back in May I was taken from my old owner because they couldn't take care of me very well. I was very sick. I had a yeast infection all over my body. The nice lady at the shelter, Helen, didn't want to touch me because I was so icky all over my body, but touch me she did and helped get better. She gave me medicine every day, took me to the doctor and gave me special baths. She really cared for me. She was so mad at my old owner I heard her tell someone that they got arrested for not taking care of me! Yeah, someone who really cares!

I am a Yorkshire Terrier and I only have three legs. There is only a half a leg where my back left leg should be. But it doesn't slow me down a bit! Nope, not one bit! Then on the 3rd of June these really nice kids came by and talked to me. But they wouldn't take me out and play with me! :( I tried to get them to but they said they weren't supposed to touch or take out the animals without Helen there. Then this big, tall lady came out, saw me and turned right around and went back into the office. I thought she was repulsed by the way I looked. See the yeast infection took it's toll on my beautiful fur and I'm half bald. I have bald patches all over my body from the yeast infection and then some other thing called Mange. I don't know what they were but they sure made me miserable and itchy. But I was feeling better, just not looking very good. :(

But then the lady came back and kneeled down by my crate and said, "Well, hello Sammy, you look like a Teddy to me! Helen tells me you need a home once you get a clean bill of health from the vet. I'm going to talk to my hubby and see what he says." WOW!!! Someone wants me! YIPPEE!!!"

I got so excited I started barking like crazy! Then she said the weirdest thing, "Great, another vicious killer." and shook her head.

She left and I was once again alone. But not to fear, I of course was a favorite with all the helpers and workers so I didn't lack for attention or love. Then the next Saturday on the 10th the two girls came back and were there for almost the whole day! They were working with other animals but ended the day with giving me a bath and taking me for a walk! I LOVE WALKS!!!! Walks are the best!!!

Then today, today was the day! The nice, tall lady came by and asked again if I was ready to come home. Helen still had to take me to the vet and get my final okay and rabies shot! NO!! NOT A NEEDLE!!! But if it meant getting a new mommy and daddy, okay, I'll handle it!

Then the biggest test. Something about getting along with a Bug and a Pup? What were they talking about? They took me into the special room where doggies go before going home and then these other two little dogs came in. I wasn't scared, one was my size and the other one was smaller! I could handle these two! But I didn't have to worry, they just sniffed me all over and then left me alone. They climbed into the laps of the people there, one was called Deannda, one Trenna and one James. JAMES! That was my new owner! That little boy! I could deal with him! He came over and started petting me and took my leash from the nice shelter lady. Then another volunteer came in and gave me treats! YEAH! I love treats! I was so excited I pooped on the floor!

Then she left again! She didn't take me with her!!! WAIT FOR ME!!! But she said, "Hang in there Sammy, as soon as you get the okay from the vet and your shots I'll be back for you! I promise!"

And sure enough, not very long after Helen brought me back from the vets (and YES, the needle HURT!) she came back! With my new owner and the Trenna lady. They came and got me out of the cage and I ran around the office, I was so excited. The new lady Deannda kept leaning over and petting me and rubbing my back. I LOVE HAVING MY BACK RUBBED!!!!!

Okay, in case you haven't figured it out, I LOVE LOTS OF THINGS!!!! :) I'm a very happy dog, I'm 4 years old and I'm in my new home. Below are my new pictures, the new lady said she would be taking more very soon and lots of them.

On the way home we picked up the other two girls and then we got yummy hamburgers and french fries. I LOVE HAMBURGERS AND BUNS but not so crazy about the french fries.

So they brought me back to the house and then started talking about some other dogs. More dogs? WOW! But then I met them! THEY ARE GIANTS! I sat very, very, very still while they sniffed me and then I climbed on the back of the couch to get away from them but they FOLLOWED ME!!! These guys don't know when to quit! But the Deannda person finally got them to back off for a bit and let me explore some more. So far I've been a very good little boy, even let them know when I had to go outside, yeah me!!!!

Well, that's all for now, below are my first pictures in my new home! Love you all!

Sammy

I watch EVERYTHING!!! 

This isn't my best picture but you can see my beautiful eyes :) 

I'm the new guy at the Neuferland Zoo 

My name is Sammy! 

Update

For anyone who might still be tuned in these days :)

Where to start, where to start? Hummmmmmmmmm, let's see, let's start with Terry. He is still alive. Doing well, as ostioarthritis in his back and water on his knees. Such fun for him! NOT! He may have to go off his blood thinners for a couple of weeks so they can drain his knees but last time he went off the thinners he had a series of mini strokes so I personally am a bit concerned but he and the doctors will all talk it over and consider all the risks. My attitude is that if he does go off the blood thinners for the surgery then he might as well get his teeth taken care of at the same time, he has a couple that have really been bothering him. We'll see what happens.

Melissa next, she's doing much better. The girl who was the source of problems at school came back and tried picking up right where she left off. Melissa handled it pretty well, came to me, asking me to call the Dean of Students to remind the other girls of the boundries that had been set. That made her back off for a day or two but then the "go ask Melissa this question" stuff started again and Melissa basically told everyone that came up to her and did ask that she appreciated the concern, accepted the apologies but she still could not be friends with this girl, it was just too much for her to handle. The other girl lost it again and was readmitted to the hospital. This happening again so soon tells me that either
a. The doctors and such didn't know about the school situation and therefore didn't address it.
b. The doctors and such didnt' understand the depth of this other girl's obsession with Melissa and therefore didn't address it.
c. Always the correct answer
d. The mother got involved and the school situation and Melissa were blamed for everything and therefore it wasn't address properly.

Anyway you look at it, the girl wasn't given the proper treatment for whatever reasons and is right back where she started. I talked to Melissa at great length about this to make sure she wasn't feeling guilty about what happened. Her answer was basically this. "Mom, I don't feel bad about it anymore, I know I have no control over her and I know it's not my fault she can't let go. AND the other kids told me they are getting tired of her going on and on and crying all the time too. They want her to get better and to also move on. In fact some of them are even coming to my table when I sit by myself and eating lunch with me. So it's okay this time." I have been watching her closely for signs that she's trying to con me but they weren't there. She really does feel better about it this time. She is no longer taking the meds they prescribed in the hospital for two reasons. The first was they made her so sleepy. I am talking falling asleep in class sleepy and no energy, no ambition. We cut back the dosage and that helped but she was still in a bit of a daze. So when it ran out I waited until we saw the doctor again (two days later) and in that two days I started seeing my Melissa again. Not the moody, angry, I'm going to kill the world if they look at me wrong Melissa but my Melissa, the one who likes to read, write, play her flute, take showers, fix her hair and care about her appearance Melissa. It's really nice to see her again. We talked about this in the doctor's office and part of the reason she had been letting herself go was because of this other girl also. This other girl is very overweight, doesn't wear makeup, barely runs a comb through her hair and doesn't really care that much about her appearance and when Melissa would look nice this other girl would complain that she was too pretty and no one would notice her. It was constant with this girl. But now that she's back with other girls her whole world has changed. And one of the other girls, one we have known since kindergarten is thrilled that Melissa is back hanging out with them. She has lots of other friends but she told me that she really missed Melissa being a part of her world. Melissa always had the best ideas for fun and doing things. So we decided at this time that Melissa would try to see the world without meds and if thing started changing again we would go back and reassess the situation. She would continue in therapy and I would watch her moods swings and make sure they are caused from either hormones (PMS, the likes) or if something is going on at the house, etc. With everything I'm going through right now I know Melissa is still going to need another outlet.

Today she is in New York City. I am so jealous of her right now. The 8th grade takes their class trip to NYC every year and this year was no exception. They left on the bus at 4:15 AM this morning and will be back around the same time tomorrow morning. They will be going to Ellis Island, Statue of Liberty, Central Park Zoo and and Yankees Game. She spent the night at a friend's house last night because Terry and Ellie are in Washington DC (will explain in a bit) and I would have had to get her up, get James up and get her to the school by 4 AM, not gonna happen, not me, LOL :) Can't wait to hear about her trip.

Ellie is in Washington with her dad and Aunt (his sister) today. They left yesterday morning to see Terry's Aunt who recently got out of the hospital and stayed with his brother who lives right outside of DC. His aunt lives in Maryland. I thought it would be a nice break for her since Melissa was going to NYC and she was having some issues with other things. I'm not going to go into details, she told me she would rather I didn't discuss her bad things, just the good things. So here are the good things. They won their first soccer game last weekend and Ellie was a big help in the effort. She didn't score any goals but she was fantastic in getting the ball downfield so her teammates could score. I am always proud of her but this time she was really putting some effort in and I was just thrilled for her. So afterwards we celebrated by going to the grocery store and getting the fixin's for some great sundaes and such. Had quite the fun that night. Made her feel really special. I also sent her along this trip to give her time with her Dad, she says she never gets to spend time with him and to connect with her Aunt. She told me that I'm her on support system person and I know her aunt could be another if she would just give her a chance. So I'm hoping they will find some common ground on this trip and Ellie will feel she has someplace to go when she needs a break from the house and family here.

James is going to 4 years old tomorrow. Hard to believe. I look at my baby and I just am amazed by his energy, his passion for life, his ability to laugh at just about anything and his obession with mooning everyone. I swear, the kids is nuts, but then again, if he wasn't he wouldn't fit in around here now would he? He's a good kid, he starts Headstart in September. He's very excited about going to school, I'm bummed, but I'll survive. He's a good little boy and he's great about sharing and such so I hope he'll do alright. I'm sure he will. :) He's growing up so fast, he gets himself dressed in the morning before he leaves his room. Sometimes it's all on backwards but he's trying. This morning he made his first peanut butter sandwich by himself. My baby boy is growing up, all to fast for my taste but not much I can do to stop it either ;(

Now me. What to say. I had my first therapy session this week. It went alright. I'm not going to get into details because whenever I do I seem to upset or anger someone in my family. We talked about a lot of different things, touching on several subjects and will start to work through them as each session goes on. It going to take some time and at some point we will talk about other medical treatments that might be available to me but for right now we stick with the one I'm on since it does help control my temper, which to me is pretty important, especially now. I do seem to be having mini panic attacks or something, my chest will get tight for a second and then it passes just as quickly as soon as I take a nice deep breath. My sleeping habits also suck right now and getting to sleep is the hardest part. Once I'm asleep it's not so bad but getting to sleep can take an hour or more sometimes. I literally have to exhaust myself to a point where I can barely keep my eyes open but then by the time I let the dogs out one last time, turn off all the lights, lock the doors and such I'm wide awake again. But off to bed I go and then the routine starts. I may read for a bit to get tired again then I have to be laying a certain way, with my hands in a certain position, my dogs in the bed with me and then I have to tell myself over and over again to "sleep, sleep, sleep" because if I don't then my mind will race with all kinds of thoughts. Everything from finances, to the house to the cars to Tom Cruise to the kids to Britney Spears to Terry's health to.............you get the picture.

My back was doing better because I wasn't pushing it. I'm taking the meds the doc gave me and doing the little excerises and I can walk further now but still can't do the dishes, sweep a floor or haul laundry baskets up and down or around the house without my back, legs and arms going into some serious aching. Especially the back muscles, they just feel like they are in a vice and it's being squeezed harder and harder. I have another appointment with the doctor in a couple of weeks, I may go back sooner if this doesn't get any better. I can't stand for very long, can't sit for very long. how the heck am I supposed to get a job when I can't stand, can't sit, can't lift, can't do repetative stuff. It just sucks rocks at times. We'll see what happens in a couple of weeks when I do the Concert in the Park taking pictures and see if I'm going to be able to work around that as well.

Well, that is the update so far. The animals are all well and may be growing, we shall see. :)

Deannda

Bleh

That is how I have felt the last couple of days. Don't want to get up, don't want to do anything. I've been forcing myself to move and do things but it seems all I really want to do is sleep or just lay down. I've been having trouble breathing sometimes, it's more anxiety than anything else, it usually only shows up when I start thinking about going back to work. I have myself all worked up about having to go back to a regular job and it's stupid, just plain stupid. We need the money to pay bills. Yeah, the big things are caught up but there are still the little things like power, phone, you know, insurance for the cars, inspections for the cars...... I just get tired and headachy thinking about it and I have to do something about this. The Family Counseling center already called back Friday afternoon but I wasn't home so I have to call them on Monday to set up my first appointment. Maybe I can get her to do the same time as Melissa's so I won't just be sitting there being bored to sleep.

My sleeping habits are horrible, I sleep half the day away, can't sleep at night, always was a night owl, should find a graveyard job again, less people to deal with. That's another thing, I'm finding I want less and less to deal with the general public unless I really have to, ya know? I want it to be more on my terms then some policy set by some home office. Oh well, can't always have what you want, right? I think that is the part that sucks the most, you end up doing stuff you hate to pay the bills and by the time you can do the stuff you really want, there isn't any real time left to enjoy it. Oh well, such is life, this too shall pass.

Deannda

$860 later

We have two running vehicles with oil changes, new fuel filters, air filters and ready to roll again! YEAH!

That hurt, a lot but it was worth it considering it could have been much, much worse.

I had my intake appointment today and after talking to the counselor for about an hour she feels I am most like bi-polar as well and has wondered how it's escaped other's attention so far. So I should be getting a call in the next week to set me up with a counselor and from there the doctor so if they decide I need meds to help with the bipolar.

They also have a group that could help with my inability to finish things. I am trying, but the fears of failure and disappointing others gets so strong sometimes............... Even now I feel stupid for asking for help but I also know that nothing is going to change if I don't start with myself, right?

Deannda

And the van is at the garage

And he called me to tell me that I had a nail in one tire and it would need to be repaired.

Okay, here is the conversation pretty much as I remember it:

"Hello?" I said with trepidation as we have caller ID so I knew it was the garage.

"Hi! Bill here!"

"HI! I take it you got my van!?"

"Yes I did and you have a nail in the front right tire, did you know that?"

"No, I did not, didn't even notice it was flat when I went out this morning to leave the key in it for the tow truck."

"You didn't notice it?"

"I don't usually look at those things honestly."

"Well my guy wanted to know if he should fix it right away but I told him to wait until we talked about the rest of the van but you probably would want if fixed since those are new tires."

"Oh yeah, we just got those from you."

"So do you want to hear the rest of the news?"

"I don't know, do I?" I said with even more trepidation.

"Well, the tow cost $49 and it is a cracked axle. The part for that is ........" (I honestly didn't hear a lot after this because I was so thrilled that it wasn't the transmission which could have been $2000 easily.) "and labor will be $59.45 so your total will be $279.45, you want us to go ahead and fix it?"

"YES!!!!!" I practically shouted into the phone. You cannot begin to imagine the relief I felt as I listened to him talk. Unreal relief. I had enough money coming tomorrow to pay up the mortgage, fix BOTH cars, catch up or pay off a few other bills AND have some left over to help until I could find a job, which I really didn't want to do until after school was out so this works out very well in the end. Maybe God was listening this time, who knows but I do know that a tremendous weight has been lifted off my chest.

Friday I go for an evaluation at the Counseling services and hopefully finally get the right diagnose when it comes to my mental state. Tomorrow Melissa gets her eyes checked to see if she might need reading glasses and next week I take to the doctor at the counseling place about her meds. They make her sleepy all the time, that just won't work especially when it comes to school and if she's going to be helping out this summer watching James while I'm working.

So right now, things are going better. Life is slowly getting back to some sense of normal, if there is such a thing as normal and starting to calm down again.

Oh and I talked to the brother of the woman who was bugging me, he tried telling me I had to deal with her. I let him know that was not an option since she would not even talk to me that he had to talk to her. I remained amazingly calm during the entire conversation and finally let him know that if she didn't quit causing trouble every single time she came down here that I was going to halt any and all work on the outside of the house, little as it is right now and would be sorely tempted to find some really bright neon colors to paint it with. We are the ones who live here and have to get along, not her and it's his responsiblity to make sure she understands that, not mine. He was really listening to me at that point.

Deannda
I would never do it but he doesn't know that

Well one car is running and moving

We managed to get Terry's car running. The price was more than I wanted to pay but when you have no vehicle.......... the past weekend was spent mostly in my sister-in-law's car running her and Terry back and forth to work with a little sleep in between. She works graveyards and he works days, FUN!

But we ended up taking money from Terry's 401K plan to pay for the repairs to his car, catch up the mortgage and hopefully fix my van as well. :( It's not a loan on the plan, so we did get hit with early withdrawel penalties and such but there's enough left over to cover the repairs and play catch up and there is still a nice chunk left in the plan.

Now I have to run out to Walmart, call the tow truck and be there when they come so I can give them the key and such. Then James and I are going to come home and veg out for the rest of the day. I pushed myself yesterday with cleaning and walking and my back is telling me NOT to do the same thing today! :(

Deannda